Nervous of having symptoms of depression ever since quitting dance

It has been a week since I have quit dancing, and it has felt great to have so much free time on my hands. I am very happy with the decision I have made, I thought I would regret my decision but so far I am very glad that I have made this choice. I can’t say that I don’t miss dancing because I do a lot! But it just feels great to not go up to Alexandria every single day and then get home at 10:30 at night, it was just way too stressful, but I do miss dancing a lot.

I was looking at some research on withdrawal and depression symptoms, because I was nervous that I might experience this a few weeks from now.  While I was looking at these symptoms, I realized that some of them relate to me, and it kind of worries me. For example:

·         Feelings of sadness or unhappiness

·       "  Irritability or frustration, even over small matters

·         Loss of interest in normal activities

·         Insomnia or excessive sleeping

·         Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain

·         Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still

·         Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration

·         Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort

·         Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

·         Back pain or headaches"

I just hope I can try to get rid of these symptoms, and try not to worry about all of these things because it really worries me to think that I will have depression or something near that.

My goals for these next few weeks is to try not to worry about everything, to relax, to focus on school and my career, and to try to take my mind off of dance.  But as I said I am very happy with the decision I have made but, I just don’t want to be depressed that I am not dancing every day and that I don’t really see any of my dance friends anymore.  I just need to give it some time.

Staff, Mayo Clinic. "Definition." Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 10 Feb. 2012. Web. 27 Feb. 2012. <http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175/DSECTION=symptoms>.

I finally did it!

So I just got home from my last day of dance, and tonight was the night that I had to tell my dance teachers that I am quitting dance. I decided to tell them after my classes were over and I also told my mom to come with me. When I told them they were really surprised and very shocked, they said that they weren’t expecting this at all and that I kind of picked a bad time to quit since we have a lot of competitions coming up. Then they made me tell my whole dance studio that I was quitting, I felt really bad because I am really close to the people at my dance studio and when I told them a lot of them starting crying. I felt bad, but I knew that I was making the right choice.

Making this decision is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I want to pursue my career and I know that I am making the right choice of quitting now. So now I can really focus on school, which is my number one priority right now. As Charles Buxton said

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.”

My mom was asking me if I wanted to do anymore extracurricular activities, but I don’t think I want to do any right now. I might want to look for a job where I could only work on the weekends but I am not sure yet, I just want to enjoy my free time and work on managing more of my time. So I am just going to take one step at a time and see how it goes.

I just wonder how I am going to be like a week from now, I hope I will be a lot more stressed and will still be happy with the decision I made.

"Time Management Quotes and Sayings | Time Management Made Easy." Time Management Training by Time Management Expert Peter "TheTimeMan" Turla. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. <http://timeman.com/time-management-tips/time-management-quotes-and-sayings>.

Doing what is best for me

These past few weeks taking a break from dance has been pretty good. But I realize that I am not as interested in dancing as I use to be, I think the reason is that I have had so much more time, and I have been able to accomplish a lot more things, and I am focused on my work.  So I think I am going to go into my studio and tell them that I need to take a break from dance for the rest of the year. I am scared to tell them because I know they aren’t going to take it well, but I know I am making the right decision.

I talked to my mom last night and I told her how I felt, surprisingly she took it better than I thought. She told me that if this is what I want to do than I should go for it and that she will support me 100%. I know deep down I know she is hurt that I am taking the rest of the year off, and I feel like I am letting her down but I know that this isn’t what I want to do for a career and I have to stop dancing at some point.

Dance is not something I want to pursue as a career; I just do it because I enjoy it a lot. This is why I should stop dancing now and focus on my actual career which is being a teacher. I think this the perfect time to stop dancing because I’m in college and I really want to do well so I can get into a 4 year college and pursue my dream as a teacher. Also, I need to learn how to cut back on things, and learn how to manage my time, and I think after quitting dance I think managing my time won’t be that much of a problem as it was before.  

The only thing that I am worried about is that I don’t want to regret giving up dance, I mean I have been dancing since I was three so I don’t know how I am going to feel a month from now. So I am just very nervous that I am going to regret quitting dance.

Potential sources for my analysis paper

My first potential source for my analysis that I will be using an article called Time Management. I use this article a lot because it has a lot of helpful tips on time management and they are very effective. This article is mainly about how time management affects college students and how they give you tips and goals to set to help improve the struggle with time management.

The reason I chose this article was because it relates to me a lot. For example, it talks about setting goals, scheduling ahead of time, having a calendar and etc. All of these things relate to me because after reading this article I now use a calendar, I set my goals, and I try to schedule things ahead of time. So these examples have really helped me a lot, this is why it is going to be my potential source for my analysis paper.

My second potential source for my analysis paper is another article called The Time Management Article. I chose this article because it also has tips, but it also has things that are a waste of time, and that I shouldn’t get distracted by. For example, procrastination, lack of poor planning, interruptions, etc. These are mainly the things that waste my time, especially procrastination. I always tend to do things at the last minute and I can’t do that because I already have plenty of other stuff to do.

This article has really helped me out a lot because the tips and the time wasters are very useful and helpful.  It also has helped me with being less stressed and made me realize that I need to cut back on certain activities. So The TimeManagement Article will be my second potential source for my analysis paper.

"Time Management." Welcome to Grad Resources. Web. 06 Feb. 2012. <http://www.gradresources.org/articles/time_management.shtml>.

"Time Management Article." Business Coaching for Results with Business Coach Wendy Hearn. Web. 30 Jan. 2012. http://www.business-personal-coaching.com/time-management-article.html.

Finally managing my time

This was the first week where I haven’t had dance every day, and to be honest it felt great! I have had so much time on my time on my hands this past week.  I haven’t had this much time on my hands in a long time. I have been able to get my homework early, studied for my tests for two hours instead of studying 10 minutes before; also, I have been able to hang out with my family and friends.

Now that I only dance two days a week instead of five I feel less stressed, I feel a lot more accomplished and I feel that I have managed my time a lot more. Time management has been a struggle for me from the start, but now that I have been starting to cut things down like dance, I feel like I have somewhat  been able to manage my time. I think my struggle with time management will get a lot better once I start realizing that I can’t do everything at once. But cutting down dance has been a big step for me, I am glad that I made this decision.

 I am starting to think I might just want to take the rest of the year off, so I can continue to focus on my degree and career. The only thing about quitting dance is that I know my mom will not be happy with me, I say that because, she has always supported me dancing since I will three, and she is kind of one of those competitive moms, so I think she is going to be a little disappointing, especially since competition season is here.  Another reason why I don’t want to take the year off is I will probably get really bored not dancing, I have been doing it since I was three I don’t know what it’s going to be like if I take a year off. I just don’t want to make the wrong choice,  I think I need to go with what is right which is to focus on school.

Having more time on my hands

Today was the first day that I didn’t have dance on Monday in a really long time all because of cutting back on my classes. And to be honest, it felt great. I managed to take a short nap after my classes were over, studied for my exam and did all of my homework. The best part about today was I still had plenty of time to do whatever else I needed to do, and that usually never happens to me.  I love this feeling of getting my work done early, trying to pursue my career, and having time on my hands.

 I am so glad that I made the decision of cutting back from 12 classes to 6 classes.  So I now dance only on Wednesdays and Thursdays. I have dance 3 classes each day and get out of dance at 8. The only thing that I still don’t like about going dance is that I have to drive all the way to Alexandria which is about 45 minutes away  from my house, and plus traffic. So that takes up about an hour for me, in the amount of time I could be doing homework.

Now that I have cut back on my dance classes and have started to manage my time I think I want to start applying for a part time job, but not just yet. I think I want to wait a couple of more weeks to see how I am really feeling. I just hope I don’t stress myself out again and then have to have time management problems again.  But if I could get a job that I could work about three times a week because that would be great.

Reading Time Management has helped realized that I did make the right decision.  For example, I made my goals, “which give a framework for motivation.” My goals are that I want to achieve are focusing on school more and getting my degree. I am very excited to see how this week is going to go, I hope I will have a lot more time on my hands and be able to get things done early and not at the last minute.

"Time Management." Welcome to Grad Resources. Web. 06 Feb. 2012. <http://www.gradresources.org/articles/time_management.shtml>.

Making the right decision

This weekend was my first competition since May 2011; I competed in 12 dances and had a solo. I was so nervous and so stressed out! The most stressful part about this weekend was that the competition was on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so I had no time for anything besides dancing.  Waking up at 5:30am and staying at the competition until 10pm was a pain, I had no time to relax or anything because all of my dances were back to back.  During the awards, my studio did really great and I won first place for my tap solo. But, I kept on thinking to myself “do I really want to keep on doing this?”, “do I really want to keep stressing myself out, and not having any time for anything else but dance?.” I thought about this all of Sunday night, and I realized that dancing is not what I want to do as a profession. I need to focus more on college so I can get into a 4 year college and work on getting my degree as being an elementary teacher.

Sunday night I talked to my mom and told her how I felt, and she told me that I should cut down on dance classes since I am already am taking a lot, I am struggling with my time management, and that I really need to focus on college and getting my degree.  I was speechless when she told me that, because I knew that was she was right, but I didn’t want to cut down on dance classes.  Sometimes I think I can do everything at once and on my own, but this past weekend made me realize that I really can’t everything because it stresses me out and that I don’t have enough time to do all of the things I want to do.

Cutting down my classes was really hard for me because, I felt like I was letting my parents, my dancing teachers, and my whole dance studio down. But in the end I need to realize that this is what’s best for me so I mange my time, not be so stressed and focus on college. Maybe if I get everything back on schedule I can start adding more classes, but as of now I am only taking 6 classes instead of 12.  I don’t think I would have realized or have changed most of my problems if it wasn’t for writing blogs and getting feedback from my classmates. But I know I am making the right decision, hopefully I will have more time on my hands, and will not be so stressed.